I love movies. More importantly, I love seeing movies before almost everyone else. Certain movies will get me to the theater at midnight, so I figured I’d see them first and write a review the next day so you can get a real review from someone that isn’t a Hollywood hack.
In this installment… Summer 2012 Preview.
Marvel’s The Avengers – May 4th, 2012
Synopsis: Nick Fury of S.H.I.E.L.D. brings together a team of super humans to form The Avengers to help save the Earth from Loki and his army.
MonkeyBiz’s Take: I’ve always been more of a Marvel fan than DC fan. Consequently, this is my most anticipated movie of the summer, which is a shame since it’s also the first movie of the summer. That being said, I’m definitely there at midnight.
Midnight Movie Review: YES!
The Dictator – May 16th, 2012
Synopsis: The heroic story of a dictator who risks his life to ensure that democracy would never come to the country he so lovingly oppressed.
MonkeyBiz’s Take: I wasn’t a huge fan of Borat or Bruno, but this has piqued my interest. I think the fact that it’s an actual movie with a script helps, versus Sacha Baron Cohen’s earlier work, which is based off of skits from his HBO show, Da Ali G Show.
Midnight Movie Review: No, but I’ll probably see it in theaters.
Battleship – May 18th, 2012
Synopsis: A fleet of ships is forced to do battle with an armada of unknown origins in order to discover and thwart their destructive goals.
MonkeyBiz’s Take: I loved Transformers, mainly because Optimus Prime was more of a male role model for me than my own emotionally distant father, so there was a certain sense of nostalgia there, along with an unhealthy appreciation for all things Michael Bay. I feel no such nostalgia for Battleship.
Midnight Movie Review: Not even gonna see it in theaters, unless it gets absolutely sterling reviews.
Men In Black 3 – May 25th, 2012
Synopsis: Agent J travels in time to MIB’s early years in the 1960s, to stop an alien from assassinating his friend Agent K and changing history.
MonkeyBiz’s Take: I liked the first two. The plot seems interesting. I know my mom and sister will want to see it, so I’ll probably go with them.
Midnight Movie Review: No, but I’ll probably see it with my mom and sister.
Snow White and the Huntsman – June 1st, 2012
Synopsis: In a twist to the fairy tale, the Huntsman ordered to take Snow White into the woods to be killed winds up becoming her protector and mentor in a quest to vanquish the Evil Queen.
MonkeyBiz’s Take: I haven’t read any of the Twilight books, or see the movies, or been involved with it in any way, other than going “Oh, it’s that Twilight bullshit.” So, my hatred of Kristen Stewart isn’t fully developed yet. I liked her in Adventureland. And I REALLY like Charlize Theron. And Chris Hemsworth is pretty decent too. The trailer looks fun, so why not?
Midnight Movie Review: No, but I’ll see it in theaters.
Prometheus – June 8th, 2012
Synopsis: A team of explorers discover a clue to the origins of mankind on Earth, leading them on a journey to the darkest corners of the universe. There, they must fight a terrifying battle to save the future of the human race.
MonkeyBiz’s Take: Really looking forward to this one. I loved Alien and Aliens, and this promises to be an exciting prequel to the series. The cast looks good, and there seems to be plenty of action.
Midnight Movie Review: No, but only because I doubt there will be a midnight showing.
Rock of Ages – June 15th, 2012
Synopsis: Set in 1987 Los Angeles, Drew and Sherrie are two young people chasing their dreams in the big city. When they meet, it’s love at first sight, though their romance will face a series of challenges.
MonkeyBiz’s Take: Looks interesting, but I need to see more before I say yes to two hours of 80s music. Also, stop trying to make Julianne Hough happen.
Midnight Movie Review: No, but I might see it in theaters.
Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter – June 22nd, 2012
Synopsis: Abraham Lincoln, the 16th President of the United States, discovers vampires are planning to take over the United States. He makes it his mission to eliminate them.
MonkeyBiz’s Take: They used Johnny Cash’s “The Man Comes Around” as the trailer narration. It’s directed by the same guy that directed Wanted. And it has Abraham Lincoln hunting vampires with an axe gun.
Midnight Movie Review: YES.
Brave – June 22nd, 2012
Synopsis: Determined to make her own path in life, Princess Merida defies a custom that brings chaos to her kingdom. Granted one wish, Merida must rely on her bravery and her archery skills to undo a beastly curse.
MonkeyBiz’s Take: Pixar continues to find new and interesting ways to get me to see their movies. Ten to one says this is furiouslyred’s Halloween costume. Unfortunately, single dudes don’t get to see Pixar movies by themselves, so I’ll have to drag along the family for this one.
Midnight Movie Review: No, but I’ll drag the family along.
G.I. Joe: Retaliation – June 29th, 2012
Synopsis: When Cobra spy Zartan has most of the Joes assassinated, the remaining Joes band together to strike back.
MonkeyBiz’s Take: This looks worlds better than the original G.I. Joe – Rise of Cobra. I’m interested. Also *SPOILER ALERT!* Channing Tatum dies in, like, the first fifteen minutes, so there’s that.
Midnight Movie Review: YES!
The Amazing Spider-Man – July 3rd, 2012
Synopsis: Peter Parker finds a clue that might help him understand why his parents disappeared when he was young. His path puts him on a collision course with Dr. Curt Connors, his father’s former partner.
MonkeyBiz’s Take: As much as I enjoyed Sam Raimi’s Spiderman and Spiderman 2, by Spiderman 3 I was sick of Kirsten Dunst and Tobey McGuire. This reboot with Andrew Garfield (The Social Network) and Emma Stone (Easy A) should be excellent.
Midnight Movie Review: YES!
The Dark Knight Rises – July 20th, 2012
Synopsis: Eight years after Batman took the fall for Two Face’s crimes, a new terrorist leader, Bane overwhelms Gotham’s finest, and the Dark Knight resurfaces to protect a city that brands him an enemy.
MonkeyBiz’s Take: The only movie that could possibly compete with Christopher Nolan’s final Batman movie is Marvel’s The Avengers, which comes out a whole two months earlier. So yeah. It’s gonna be awesome.
Midnight Movie Review: YES. YES. A THOUSAND TIMES YES.
The Bourne Legacy – August 3rd, 2012
Synopsis: A story centered on a new CIA operative in the universe based on Robert Ludlum’s novels.
MonkeyBiz’s Take: Jeremy Renner replaces Matt Damon in the next edition of the Jason Bourne series.
Midnight Movie Review: No, I might not even see this one in theaters.
Total Recall – August 3rd, 2012
Synopsis: As the nation states Euromerica and New Shanghai vie for supremacy, a factory worker (Farrell) begins to suspect that he’s a spy, though he is unaware which side of the fight he’s on.
MonkeyBiz’s Take: This hasn’t been getting a lot of press yet, but I’m looking forward to this one quite a bit. This is not related to the Arnold Schwarzenegger version save the source material, which is another short story from Philip K. Dick.
Midnight Movie Review: No, but I’ll definitely see it in theaters.
The Expendables 2 – August 17th, 2012
Synopsis: Mr. Church reunites the Expendables for what should be an easy paycheck, but when one of their men is murdered on the job, their quest for revenge puts them deep in enemy territory and up against an unexpected threat.
MonkeyBiz’s Take: Sylvester Stallone teams up with every other action hero on the planet: Jason Statham, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Chuck Norris, Terry Crews, Randy Coutoure, Liam Hemsworth, Jean Claude Van Damme, Bruce Willis, and Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Midnight Movie Review: No. Probably not even seeing it in theaters.
Dredd – September 21st, 2012
Synopsis: In a violent, futuristic city where the police have the authority to act as judge, jury and executioner, a cop teams with a trainee to take down a gang that deals the reality-altering drug, SLO-MO.
MonkeyBiz’s Take: I’m a huge fan of the original Judge Dredd movie. This one looks to be much closer to the long running 2000AD comic, and stars Karl Urban, who has promised not to take his helmet off (Dreddheads know why this is important).
Midnight Movie Review: YES.
